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Recovery First Testimonial

A Recovery First Testimonial –

I grew up as an only child. I always felt as though I was missing something and as though I didn’t fit in. I spent my life trying to be like everybody else, and not knowing who I really was. I believed I was the person that I portrayed myself to be. In my early years in high school I started experimenting with drinking and drugs. I finally felt as though I found the cure to all my problems. I no longer had anxiety when speaking to people and felt as though I was one with everybody else. By the time I was 17 I was using on a daily basis. Opiates were the only thing that made me feel at ease with the complications of life. I always felt as though I didn’t have a problem because I was still “successfully using”. I was engaged to a beautiful woman, traveled a lot including going to the Bahamas and Cancun, paid my bills, took care of my godson every week, was enrolled in college, etc. Other people were telling me and my fiancé that we had a problem, but we were living in a fairy tale, as though everything was alright. And on the outside, everything seemed alright but on the inside I knew what I was doing was slowly killing me.

By the time I was 21 I had already attempted and failed at multiple suboxone maintenance programs and decided that methadone would be the cure for our addictions. However, that just made things even worse. For a year and a half my ex and I were on a methadone clinic and drinking profusely as well as still using opiates from time to time. Towards the end of my methadone maintenance my ex and I split up and I lost everything; my godson, the “love” of my life, and the appearance that everything was ok. I quickly spiraled out of control and ended up in Florida at Recovery First.

I completed treatment but had no intentions on getting clean, so I got out and continued to live that lifestyle that I thought “made me happy”. However, happy was far from what I was. I was lost, scared, and alone.  Drugs were the only thing that made me forget all my emotions and worries. I did the Fort Lauderdale halfway shuffle and moved from place to place trying to “get it together” but the effort was never honestly given. I ended up living in hotels and a crack shack on Sunrise Blvd and decided that what I was doing wasn’t working.

I called Recovery First and asked for help. They came and got me that night and I started on a new journey. I sat and I listened but I still didn’t comprehend that I had to change everything. So after my thirty days I was discharged and was high that night. The next day my halfway caught me getting high and sent me back to Recovery First. I was extremely resentful and angry. Didn’t these people know who I thought I was? So back I was, exactly where I had started a year and a half prior, except after slipping up a few times, something finally clicked. I didn’t know how to live my life successfully without the use of drugs and alcohol. I was visited in my room by multiple staff of Recovery First who told me it was time for me to make a decision. It was time to try something different or it was time to go.

I finally decided to give this recovery thing an honest effort. I was finally honest with myself and with my therapist and started working on changing myself. I stayed in treatment for a total of six months this last time at Recovery First and it saved my life. It most definitely was the best decision I have ever made. I made plenty of mistakes but I also took suggestions. I finally did what was asked of me and I finally started feeling better about myself. I completed treatment and went back to the halfway were I spent my one day free at.

I now have a year clean and am the director of those halfway houses. Things have never been so good. I am working on a career, I get to help people on a daily basis, and I finally feel good about who I am as a person. So as long as I continue to follow suggestions and do the next right thing, I know that there is no stopping me and what I can accomplish. I owe all of my success to the wonderful staff at Recovery First. They honestly loved me until I could love myself, and never gave up on me, even when they had every right to. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the help and guidance of Recovery First, and for that I am forever grateful.

A beyond satisfied … {Name Withheld}

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